Kids Say the Darnedest...

Something else that amuses me by living out in the country, are all the conversations I hear the kids having. I promise that city kids never have these conversations, and the 4 year olds do not know the same things as county-living four year olds. For example...

Yesterday I took JJ to preschool. One of the little four year olds came out in the hall to talk to me. Cutest little kid with the cutest voice. It took me a while to catch on to what he was saying, but this is what he said,

"Da know, da daddy dows will huwt da baby dows, so we godda sort dem out. We sorted out our dows yesterday so da mamas and baby dows are togewer and da daddies dows are not. My uncle sorted da dows too. He's gots lots a dows too. And da know? Sometime somefing can huwt da dickens and the dicks. We haf a be caweful. Dey are dust liddew, our dickens and dicks. We haf lots a dem too. But dey are not as big as dows!"

And at church on Sunday, I was passing a group of teenage boys who were talking about how many shots it took to take down the sick cow the other day. "You wouldn't believe it. We used a (insert name of gun here) on her and she wouldn't die! It was crazy! And then Bill over here got his gun out and started shooting too. Finally she went down. It was the darnedest thing."

But moving on from kids, yesterday a guy came over with his truck and a trailer of something and dropped it off at our house. I had gone outside to pick JJ up from the bus stop when he stopped and asked me to relay a message to my husband. He said, "Well, I'm going to take this and mix him 25 acres. I think that's what he wanted. If you hear from him, let him know that, would ya?"

"Uh huh, okay. "(What in the world are we talking about? I just acted like I knew.)

"I'll try to get it back here really soon, although I don't know if he can spread right now -the wind is blowing so hard. Maybe it will die down and he can tonight."

"Yeah, hopefully."( I'm smiling and laughing, cause you know. I know what we are talking about.)

"Okay, see ya!"

"See ya!"

Come to find out a little later, we were talking about fertilizer. I had NO clue!

Afternoon Stroll

The other day, we were about 45 minutes away from our house (still in the middle of no where) when we realized, we were not alone on the road anymore.

We had to slow down in order to avoid a head-on collision.

As my grandma always tells us, "If another guy wants the road, give it to him."

My cowboy asked me why I was taking pictures of these "ugly things." Apparently, we have handsome cows.

We never could figure where these cows came from...we didn't see any more of them for miles around. I hope they made it to where they were going...

How to Eat a Mouse

First you have to catch it. Which is pretty easy if your name is "Moley." Or you can even catch two, if you are feeling extra hungry.

Second, you play with it for a while. You bring it back to the garage, throw it up in the air a few times. Run around it, gnaw at it, throw it at the lady who lives there....Just have fun.

Third. Settle down into a comfy position and go for the head first. There has to be a big chomp, and then a lot of crunching. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Pretty soon the whole head will come off so you can finish chewing it, then swallow.

Fourth...this is the best part. Hold the mouse's tail down with one paw so you can pull the guts out of the top of it, with your teeth. Slurp them up as fast as you can. It's okay to leave a little bit of blood on the cement floor though. It happens.

Fifth. You don't have much left, so just enjoy the rest; the fur, the skin, all the way down to the feet and the tail.

Sixth. Look up and watch the lady of the house run out of the garage dry-heaving. Don't worry, she'll be okay until she sees you eating another mouse, the next time.

Another Post About Moley

You will never believe this but...Moley's lover is back. Already! I mean, her babies aren't even two months old yet! And here's this wild tom cat back in our garage and roaming outside our house. He's been trying to get to the kittens. My husband says that it wants to kill them. What a nice daddy. We think it is because all the kittens are male. (My husband figured that one out. I cannot tell the difference! See previous post.)

So my cowboy had to chase the tom cat out of our garage a few times. Then when I came home the other day, I got to see him for myself. He was a dark, tiger striped cat. I went near him to try and chase me away and growled! A mean growl, just like a tiger! I had visions of being attacked by a tom cat, so I backed off a little bit. Never have I heard a cat growl like that!

Moley was out there too, and she was being so crazy. I think she was trying to show off for him, I've never seen her like that. She was running, and jumping, and rolling around in the dirt. I don't know what is wrong with her, but I think she might be part rabbit. We've lost track of how many litters kittens she's had in her lifetime. But we've figured she already has great-great grandchildren.

Anyway, these crazy cats finally went running out into the field together. Seriously. If she's pregnant again.....!

Cow Plates...

I love these plates. When I was dating my husband, and came up to his house for the first time to meet his parents, I ate off these plates. I thought they were so fun and so neat, since ya know, we have 300 cows up here. So they have a whole set of dishes with cows on them!

Well, we just found out how "classy" we really are. Seems like these plates are quite the set. They are now selling for $25 a piece!! So... if you come to visit us, and get to eat off of these plates, you should feel very honored. :) Unless we sell them before that. Just kidding, Mom!

And this picture above? Well, this would be a female cow. Why do I meantion that? Oh because I had a little lesson in cow anatomy the other day...by mistake.

I was out at the feed lot with the cows. And just like any day, many of them were doing their "business" when all of a sudden I realized one cow in particular was going "number one" out of his belly. That really caught me off guard! I thought something was wrong! So my husband quickly explained to me that yes, the female cows go in a different place, not their bellies. I had just witnessed a male cow relieving himself. This was my lesson for the day. Very interesting huh? Hey, I live on a farm! Just be grateful I didn't provide pictures of this one. I thought the video from my "Parking Lot" post was enough on this subject. :)

Redneck Waterskiing

Who says you can't have a little bit of fun in the country? My brother in law says we are trying this, this summer. Looks fun!

Glee!

These farmers get up before the crack of dawn, and work outside in the snow, rain, and burning sun. They can lift anything, build anything, and fix everything. Then after a long hard day of toil, sweat, and cow manure, they collapse onto the couch and watch an episode their favorite show………. Glee!

:)

Yesterday after church we were chatting with a couple, and one of the farmers asked my husband if he'd ever seen the show, Glee. I piped in and said, "Hey, I heard that was your favorite show!" He looked right at me, pointed his finger, and said, "Hey, don't you tell anybody that!" and "Don't talk so loud! There are a lot of people around!" Haha. I told him that I'd go ahead and just post it on my blog. He said, "Don't you dare!" So here I am.

He mentioned there was a little, just a little bit, of singing in this show....

I think I heard him humming this song as he drove away...

The Simple Life...

Is complicated. I didn't realize how many times I like to wash my hands....under running water. So life is back to normal... :) Whatever the "norm" is these days? I'm still trying to figure that out... :)

No Power, No Water

Tomorrow, we are getting our main electrical box all fixed up and organized. Which means we won't have power for a few hours, which means we also won't have water for a few hours. (I do not have to draw water from my well by hand, it is powered by electricity...just so you know.) I would try to do it by hand tomorrow, but I have heard that it's like 400 feet down through the ground. Okay, maybe not that much, but it's a long ways. So wish us luck tomorrow. Hopefully it won't take too long. Otherwise we'll be living like those in a house too far outside of town for power lines to reach and I don't think they have indoor plumbing. Sometimes I think it sounds nice to live a simple life...No TV distractions. No facebook distractions.... I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow....If I never get back on the computer, you will know that I enjoyed the simple life and decided to stay there.

Ditch Burning

Last night my husband asked if we wanted to come "ditch burning" with him and the rest of the guys. It's a good thing I have this blog. It makes me do more farming things just so I can take pictures. So I said we'd go, cause ya know. I thought it would make for a good blog post today! haha.

Nah, but it was interesting. And I'm sure it's pretty fun for the guys. I mean, what guy wouldn't enjoy holding a big blowing torch of fire against patches of tall, dry, weeds. If my cousin is reading this blog, know that I thought of you and know you would have loved to have been here with us. But most guys have a little pyro in them, don't they? At least my husband and nephew seemed to be having a good time.

It's hard work around here sometimes, but somebody's gotta do it, right?

That's my nephew. Yes, he's 17 and he's awesome. No, I'm not an old aunt, he's just an old nephew. He was born when I was 12...although I didn't know him until I was 24. Anyway..

Bo was a little nervous riding the the truck, so his cousin held him for me. What a nice guy!

JJ loved riding in the truck and watching the fire..

And don't worry. The Rural Fire District was right behind them to put out the fire...

See, there's a stop sign in our town.. see it at the top of the hill?

I wonder if this is how an olympian feels, carrying the torch...

Then it was passed to my husband and he got his turn with the torch...

I had to ask him why they burn the ditches. For any of you who don't know (which is probably nobody) it is so the irrigation water can run smoother. I think that this is probably what they talked about in their "Ditch Meeting" the other day...

A Feed Lot and a Parking Lot

Not only do we have a Feed Lot....

But we also have a Parking Lot!

See... Parking Lot and Feed Lot....

But soon, we will be losing our parking lot. My husband (the extremely organized person that he is) has arranged for someone to come and pick up ALL the old cars and machinery. In turn, this guy pays us per ton of steel and we'll be able to re-roof the house. Pretty great, huh?

Today he went through all the cars and steel whatevers, and marked them with an 'X'. Which I guess means the guy can take "it." I thought we could just say "Take everything," but I guess there's always procedures and protocol to follow.

(Yes my child is still in his jamma pants! And no, I don't get up and do early morning chores.)

They can take this stuff too... I don't even know what it is...

Anybody want a boat?

My cowboy made the comment that we should take the bumper off this '47 Chevy. "It's a really good bumper." Yes. He was serious.

All this while the cows looked on....

I thought you might like to see the cows in a movie.. not a still shot. So here you go. Watch out. It's very "action-packed!"

I Spoke Too Soon...

One mouse was not enough. Now we are on to gophers....

Can You Ditch Your Ditch Meeting?

As my husband was walking out the door after lunch, he mentioned that he had a meeting tonight at seven o’clock. I said, “A meeting? What’s it for?”

He said, “It’s a ditch meeting.”

I burst into giggles, “A ditch meeting? What is a ditch meeting?”

Smiling he said, “We meet with everyone that uses a ditch. You keep laughin’ cause I’m not going to tell you anymore!” And he shut the door.

I’m still giggling.

Holy Moley

Remember Moley and her kittens?

Well, here they are now...

They have really quite grown! And now that they are growing, they can eat "real" food. I don't just mean cat food, I mean REAL food. Such as this:

Moley is such a good mommy. Every day she catches at least one mouse for her kittens. It's really such a sweet thing to come out to my garage and find a dead, bloody mouse on the ground.

But I guess I should be grateful that Moley is such a good "mouser." And that she is teaching her children that they should aquire a taste for mouse. Maybe she will soon start teaching them to catch them by themselves. Then soon, I will probably have five dead mice in the garage.

I can just hear Moley now. "See here, children. If you want an owner to like you and keep you..."

"Then you must catch one of those things often."

"It's very important, children. If one of those creatures gets into your owner's house. Then they will feel you are not doing your job."

"So go ahead, and try it."

I'm not sure which bothers me more: Facing the reality that there are all these mice running around the outside of my house, or the new bloody skid marks across my garage....

Crick: Part II

Here is the conversation we had driving back home, the next day!

Him: I'm gonna call to see what their prices are for steel trusses.

Me: What do you mean, we can't fit them in our car, can we?

Him: HAHAHAHAH!! Honey, do you know how long these trusses have got to be?! SIXTY feet!

Me: What?! I thought like 6 feet. Geez, how big is your "crick"? Whenever someone says "crick" I picture a little trickle of water.

Him: Well, it's not that big, but the pivot has to go across a part of it that curves, so it makes it wider, ya know what I mean?

Me: Yeah, but 60 feet?

Him: Yep. (Then his phone connected..) Hi. I was wondering if you made 60 foot steel trusses and how much they would cost. I've got a 6,000 pount pivot that has to cross over a creek."

Me: Honey, did you say "crick" or "creek?"

Him: I don't know.

Crick

So we were on our way out of town (WAY out of town) and as we are driving along the freeway, this is the conversation we had:

Him: I’ve gotta see what this place is called up here. They make metal trusses.

Me: And you need some metal trusses for….

Him: Well I need to put some down in the field so our pivot can cross over the crick.

Me: Do you always say “crick?”

Him: Not always.

Me: So you just say “crick” when you are in the country and creek when you are in the city?

Him: No just when I think about it, I say one or the other……Hey I’ve heard people in the city say “crick.”

Me: Yea, the ones that have moved from the country. I have NEVER said “crick.” It’s “creek.”

I even looked “crick” up in the dictionary. Just for fun.

Main Entry: ¹crick

Pronunciation: \ˈkrik\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English cryk

Date: 15th century

: a painful spasmodic condition of muscles (as of the neck or back)

I Need a Hammer

So yesterday, my husband called me from his cell phone and said, "Hey, can you come out here and give me the hammer."

I knew he was working in the garage so I said, "Uh, yeah, sure. Where is it?"

"On the steps."

I walked out into the garage and found the hammer. I figured he must be high up on a ladder or something. So I look and...

He's not on the ladder.

"Honey, where are you?"

"Uh, honey?"

Then I hear him say, "I'm up, here!"

What the...

"How in the world am I supposed to hand you a hammer?!"

He told me to just put it on the end of a board and raise it up to him. I did, and it worked.

As I left the garage he said, "I sure hope these things hold me up!"

Yeah, me too. He's seriously crazy sometimes. I'm amazed he hasn't broken his leg yet!

Beautiful

It's really beautiful up here. I'm loving the wide open spaces and rolling hills....even though right now everything is dead. So I can't wait to post pictures when everything is GREEN! Then maybe we'll entice some of you to come and visit us. C'mon! You can ride in the tractor, feed cows, mow my lawn, weed my garden, move pipe, make jam, can fruit, chase chickens, shovel manure....it would be a great vacation! Full of rest and relaxation!

But anyway.

The other day it snowed and was awful and windy and stormy. Then mother nature apologized and gave us this beautiful, pink, sunset. So I forgave her. Wouldn't you?

I am Honored...

My friend came across this poem the other day. She shared it with me because it reminded her of me. I loved it so much, I thought I would share it with you too..

"Cow Worship"

I love the cows best when they are a few feet away
from my dining-room window and my pine floor,
when they reach in to kiss me with their wet
mouths and their white noses.
I love them when they walk over the garbage cans
and across the cellar doors,
and over the sidewalk and through the metal chairs
and the birdseed.
--Let me reach out through the thin curtains
and feel the warm air of May.
It is the temperature of the whole galaxy,
all the bright clouds and clusters,
beasts and heroes,
glittering singers and isolated thinkers
at pasture.

--Gerald Stern

A Bunch of Bulls

Me: So, what were you doing this morning?

Him: We were grading bulls today.

Me: Grading bulls? Like checking them out to see if they are good enough to buy?

Him: No.

Me: Then what does grading mean?

Him: Making sure they are good enough.

Me: Your own cows?

Him: No all the bulls the guys are going to send up into the mountain.

Me: Send up into the mountains?

Him: Yeah, everybody sends their bulls up into the mountains to graze during the summer time.

Me: Okay, I still don’t get it. Who is everybody?

Him: All the guys around here.

Me: All the farmers that have bulls? That want to send them up to the mountains? So do you mix them all up?

Him: Well sometimes.

Me: So why do they have to be good enough to go up the mountain?

Him: Well they have to be big enough, too.

Me: For why? If they are just grazing? They won't be able to handle the mountains or something?

Him: In case they get to one of your cows. You don’t want your cow mating with a crappy bull

Me: Okay so let me see if I’ve got this right. This morning ya’ll went out to check out everybody’s bulls to make sure they qualify to graze in the mountain for the summer. Cause they need to be good enough and big enough just in case the find and mate with your cows?

Him: Yup

Me: Honey, it's dark out here at night. Can cows see in the dark or do they just have to sit there all night because they can't see anything?

Him: I don't know, hun.

Hay, Hay, go away!

So.. I got a little suspicious of Mr. Farmer the other day. I’ll tell you why. A while ago, I thought it would be fun to plan a little summer vacation. This is how it went:

Me: Can we go on a trip in July?

Him: When?

Me: The 7^th through the 12^th?

No answer

Me: Honey?

Him: I don’t know

Me: Well, when will you know?

Him: I don’t know. That’s when hay starts

Me: What does that mean?

Him: It’s when it starts

Me: Okay, so like, you plant it?

Him: No

Me: So what?
Him: It’s when you have to cut it and bale it

Me: Oh

Then a little while later, we were talking with his siblings about going on a trip the beginning of June…They asked us if we could go and this is how this conversation went:

Him: Well, I don’t know. I’ll have to see if the hay is up.

Me: Does “up” mean “grown and ready to harvest?”

Him: Yes.

Me: Okay, honey. Seriously. You can’t always use the hay as an excuse! You already used it for your July excuse. You said it would be “up” in July!

Him: Honey, that is because the hay grows back. It comes up two to three times a summer.

Me: …………Oh.

Yes, this post is by yours truly, the clueless farmer’s wife!

Getting Better

Well we think the calf is getting better. Want to know why? She got up out of her box last night and messed all over the shop! Numbers one AND two! And guess who gets to clean it up? Hah! Not me!

This is coming from a mom that gets puked and pooped on all the time... and has to clean it up too. :)

Sick Baby

We have a sick baby.

Last night it was freezing cold, snowy, and windy. We woke up to this.

And we woke up to a sick baby calf....

I feel so bad for the baby. She couldn't even stand up. So my husband put her in his pickup and brought her inside the shop. He put her in front of a heater, gave her a shot of medicine, and has been bottle feeding her all day.

JJ held the bottle while Daddy put his boots on.

Then Daddy went out to feed the baby.

She ate for a little bit..
But she didn't eat enough and was so tired. So my husband had to squeeze the rest of the colostrum into the baby.

Poor little baby calf. I just felt so bad. It's always so sad when babies are sick! Even Moley, the cat, felt bad for the baby and came over to see how she was doing. I tell ya. It's hard for any mother to see any baby so sick.

Our Electrical Box

Um... should I be worried?

The nice thing is, we won't have to worry for very long. An electrician is going to come rewire everything in exchange for a slaughtered cow. Pretty good deal, huh? Here's your beef!

A Harrowing Experience

So it looks like the farmers are starting to get their fields ready. Does this mean spring is on it's way? The other day my husband said he needed to go do some harrowing. Yeah, had no idea what that was. I guess it's when they drag these spikes behind them to chop up the top layer of dirt. It's different than "plowing" because plowing goes deeper. Anyway, I may be corrected at a later date. (That happens when the husband starts reading the blog....)

So JJ was excited that it was a tractor day and went off with his dad to ride with him. He loves it. My husband called about an hour later and said that he was falling asleep, and since there was no where for him to sleep in the tractor, he asked me to come and get him. So I drove over to the field where he was working.

The seagulls must be happy for this time of year also!

Here they come. Now, hopefully that attachment is a harrow. Anyone can correct me if I am wrong. :)

Aw, it's been a hard day's work!