Him: I better get a new doorknob for the front door. It's got a lock on it like a bathroom door. All you have to do is poke it with a nail and it pops unlocked.
Me: Oh great, are you serious? I feel so safe now.
Him: It IS safe out in the country.
Me: It must be...cause everyone leaves everything open with their keys right inside! Like nothing's ever going to happen. I don't know if i can get used to that. Wait...did you just hear that noise?! Like a door opened!
Him: No one's gonna break in cause they know we are all armed out in the country.
Me: Oh yeah? We have a gun? Besides the rifle in your truck?
Him: There's a pistol under the bed.
Me: Oh wow
Him: I just don't know if it has any shells.
Me: hmmm. Hun, did you at least close the back doors? (They are usually wide open.)
Me: Do they even lock at all?
Him: I don't know. Probably not.
Me: I need them to lock so I can sleep at night.
Him: Are you serious?
Me: Yes. Will you please get new doorknobs and locks?
Him: I guess.
Me: Thanks, goodnight.
So, the next time we went to "town," my cowboy picked up all new knobs and locks. He came home and installed them, and wahlah! We are now proud new owners of HOUSEKEYS! Can you believe that? Me neither. This will be something the in-laws will have to get used to. Or I guess they can re-install the bathroom doorknobs on the outside doors, when they get home, if they'd like.