Monday, April 26, 2010

How to Eat a Mouse

First you have to catch it. Which is pretty easy if your name is "Moley." Or you can even catch two, if you are feeling extra hungry.

Second, you play with it for a while. You bring it back to the garage, throw it up in the air a few times. Run around it, gnaw at it, throw it at the lady who lives there....Just have fun.

Third. Settle down into a comfy position and go for the head first. There has to be a big chomp, and then a lot of crunching. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Pretty soon the whole head will come off so you can finish chewing it, then swallow.

Fourth...this is the best part. Hold the mouse's tail down with one paw so you can pull the guts out of the top of it, with your teeth. Slurp them up as fast as you can. It's okay to leave a little bit of blood on the cement floor though. It happens.

Fifth. You don't have much left, so just enjoy the rest; the fur, the skin, all the way down to the feet and the tail.

Sixth. Look up and watch the lady of the house run out of the garage dry-heaving. Don't worry, she'll be okay until she sees you eating another mouse, the next time.


  1. Haha, this probably sounds very morbid, but I've always wondered how they go about eating things like this!

  2. Ick. I'm sorry that you had to see that.

  3. Maybe I should make a video for you, Elise. hahaha. If I don't throw up first..